January 18, 2006

By DAN JOHNSON
ARGUS-COURIER STAFF

It started with an innocent crush on a family friend -- and developed into a full-blown nightmare.

Valerie and Stuart (not their actual names) had known each other all of their lives, and were the same age. By the time they reached 14, they were both high-school freshmen -- Valerie in Petaluma and Stuart in San Francisco.

Valerie, highly social with a strong interest in boys, developed a crush on Stuart, and in December of 2003 began expressing her feelings in highly explicit e-mails. She also sent him a captivating photo in which she appeared to be attractive beyond her years.

Unbeknownst to Valerie, Stuart began sharing the e-mails and photo with many of his male high-school friends, who then started exchanging e-mails and telephone calls with her.

"Actually, she was flattered by all the attention," said her mother. "Our phone began ringing off the hook, and the rest of our family had no idea what was happening. One day, I was driving with Valerie in the car, and she got four or five phone calls in succession. When I asked her who she was talking to, she replied, 'Friends of Stuart.'

"Stuart became 'turned off' by the whole situation, and some girls at his school who were interested in the boys contacting Valerie started sending her threatening e-mails."

Valerie's mother began more closely monitoring her online activity, and found that she was attempting to meet one of her correspondents at her school.

"At least he claimed to be a boy -- we didnŐt really know who it was, of course," her mother said.

Her mother quashed the meeting, but Valerie's conversations and correspondence continued to multiply. The mother began consulting teenage behavior specialists and arranged counseling sessions for the two of them.

"Our family constantly was living under fear. I wouldn't want anyone to go through what we experienced," the mother said.

One day, Valerie received a life-threatening e-mail message from someone claiming to be a girl at Stuart's school.

Valerie became scared, and reported it to a peer counseling group at her school, which informed the dean of students.

"The dean, not knowing all of the other stuff that had gone on, thought that this was a police matter," the mother said. "Valerie called the kids at the school, and told them that the police were coming to get them. The police never were called, but the students at Stuart's school were scared out of their wits, and the whole situation wound down."

Valerie's mother subsequently prohibited her from using cell phones, computers or instant-messaging services.

"Our family lived in a police state to make the problem go away," the mother said.

Gradually, Valerie, now a 16-year-old junior, was given back more freedom.

"With experience, she gained hindsight, and with age she developed maturity," the mother said. "But I still wish I could say that she understands the seriousness of the problem.

"Teenagers donŐt know what they don't know, and don't process details with the same level of experience as adults. They put themselves at risk, and it's hard to know how to effectively deal with it."

Indeed, in many ways the Internet, as well as a bevy of other high-tech communication tools, resembles a glitzy new sports car, transporting its drivers to unlimited attractive destinations at ever-increasing speeds. But from another perspective, it's totally out of control, zooming ahead with little regard for anyone's safety.

Middle-school and high-school students are among the most active users of the Internet, as well as the most likely to put themselves in harm's way.

"Teens see themselves as invincible, so safety concerns don't cross their radar," said Nancy Sieck, library media teacher at Petaluma High School.

A recent study by the Pew Internet & American Life Project showed that 87 percent of young people aged 12 to 17 use the Internet, and that more than half of them create online content, such as Web pages or blogs, which often include personal information.

And the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prev-ention reported that between 2004 and 2005, its national Internet Crimes Against Child-ren program saw an 84 percent rise in complaints that predators enticed minors on-line or traveled to meet them.

In December, the Polly Klaas Foundation in Petaluma released the results of a nationwide survey of the online practices of students. The poll was conducted online, and included 1,468 people from 8 to 18 years old.

Results showed, among other things, that 27 percent of the teenagers surveyed have talked online about sex with someone they never met in person, 34 percent have chatted with strangers about meeting them in person and 16 percent have discovered that someone they chatted with pretended to be younger.

The survey revealed that 8-to-12-year-olds take far fewer risks, but some still take dangerous gambles with people they have never met, with 12 percent sending them e-mails, 10 percent sending instant messages from a computer or cell phone and 10 percent chatting online. Also, 59 percent of these youths reported being concerned about being approached online by adults they don't know.

"The level of risks teens and 'tweens' (8- to 12-year-olds) take is vastly different, although both groups report online behavior that could put them in harm's way," said Glena Records, director of communication and education for the Polly Klaas Foundation.

Parents, teachers and librarians are among those attempting to teach children safe online practices, but many people feel that not nearly enough is being done to successfully address the escalating problem.

"The technology won't go away, so this issue must be effectively addressed," said Connie Williams, library media teacher at Kenilworth Junior High School. "Students should be given guidance in fourth or fifth grade, and by the time they reach junior high, they should have developed a sense of responsibility and the knowledge that what they put on the Internet goes out to people they're unaware of.

"But adults shouldn't have a knee-jerk reaction to this issue: They need to acknowledge that the Internet plays an important role in our children's lives, and has many good aspects."

In December of 2000, the U.S. Congress enacted the Children's Internet Protection Act, which requires schools to adopt a policy to monitor online activities of minors if they are to receive funding from the FCC's Universal Service Fund for Internet access and connections.

The policy must address access by minors to inappropriate matter on the Internet and Web; the safety and security of minors when using e-mail, chat rooms and other forms of direct electronic communications; unauthorized access, including "hacking" and other unlawful activities by minors online; unauthorized disclosure, use and dissemination of personal information regarding minors; and restricting minor's access to materials harmful to them.

Before students in Petaluma City Schools use the Internet, they and their parents must sign an agreement outlining personal responsibility, acceptable types of use (restricted to educational purposes) and safety measures.

"Students must follow the district's Acceptable Use Policy or they may have use privileges suspended or revoked and may be subject to other disciplinary actions, including possible civil or criminal action if appropriate," the agreement states.

In February of 2000, Canada launched a new program, "Missing," which uses a game to teach children about the dangers of the Internet and the use of safe guidelines and practices. The program now is a required component of the Canadian national educational curriculum for all middle-school students.

"I wish that Internet safety could be taught at every middle school in the country, over two, three or four class periods," Records said.

Williams and Susan Thompson, the library media teacher at Casa Grande High School, attended a presentation on safe online practices for students during a California School Library Association meeting in December, and plan to put together a template for local school librarians this year.

"We also want to create an online program to better inform parents about the issue," Thompson said.

David Rose, coordinator of student services for Petaluma City Schools, says the district has identified student Internet safety as a major issue.

"It is a topic of concern, and we definitely want to keep addressing it. Our school computers have filters in place that filter out a huge amount of material, but we need to make sure students know about Internet risks and how to prevent them," he said.

Pam Ponting, whose son, Alex, and daughter, Kim, attend PHS, feels that school staff members and parents both need to play an active role.

"School personnel have the responsibility to be sure children are safe when using the Internet there, but they're not responsible for telling them what to do at home," Ponting said. "Schools can play a part in educating parents, though.

"I watch my children when they're typing, and don't allow them to be on the Internet with their door closed, or after a certain time at night."

At school and at home, adults constantly balance the need to allow children with sufficient independence while providing sufficient monitoring and guidance.

"I think that parents need to trust their kids if they know what they're doing. Not all kids are abusing the Internet," said Kim Ponting, a 14-year-old freshman. "My dad (Ken) and I share a computer, so I can't hide anything, and he regulates the time I spend on it."

"Parents should teach their kids not to talk to people they don't know, and not to give out personal information," said Alex Ponting, a 16-year-old junior. "But many kids are very Internet savvy, so parents need to keep educating themselves."

Pam Ponting says that successful monitoring can be a challenge for some parents.

"Parents often know less about computers than their children, and even the controls that they use can be circumvented," she said. "And parents tell children not to speak to strangers, but how can you define 'strangers' on the Internet?"

Predators tap into not only instant messaging services, myspace.com, blogs, chat rooms and other online sites, but also games such as Xbox Live, which allows people to communicate with others while playing, without leaving any record of the interaction.

On Dec. 15, Santa Rosa police arrested Ronnie Brendan Watts, a 26-year-old Placerville man, on suspicion of performing a lewd act on a 14-year-old Santa Rosa boy he met through Xbox Live. Police said Xbox conversations between Watts and the boy began in October or November and included sexual content, and progressed to e-mails, instant messages and an exchange of sex acts on Web cam video.

This spring, the Polly Klaas Foundation plans to publish an Internet safety kit for parents.

"In light of how much -- and how bold -- kids are online today, all parents need to be armed with more realistic strategies and guidance," Records said. "And it is essential that teens hear the stories of other young people who were deceived or had close calls online."

(Contact Dan Johnson at djohnson@arguscourier.com)

INTERNET SAFETY TIPS

At its Web site, www.PollyKlaas.org, the Polly Klaas Foundation offers several safety tips for parents, including: